Hmm . . .

Trying hard.

I just follow my heart. Sometimes, maybe too often, I follow my pain. I'm trying hard to stop doing that. It ain't easy but I guess now, I am Comfortably Numb. >.<

=.=

=)

Everything that I did,
They are not just an action.
All the text that I gave,
They are not just a message.
All the songs that I sang,
They are not just a song.
All the things that I said,
They are not just a word.
Cause everything that I said and done,
I really mean it and it's for real.

Wonders.

There are times when I'd stare the sky at night and wonder why You are my entire universe when I’m not even a little star in yours. =.=

Dream.

In my mind, I have a lot of things that I would like to say to you everyday, day and night but I can only say those things in my dream. =.= Sometimes, dreams are way better than reality.

TAKRINDUTAKRINDUTAKRINDU!

Okay tipu! Haihh! =.=
I Miss You. >.<

Bread and Butter.

I know you don't think of me.
And you certainly would never picture us together but probably peanut butter was just peanut butter before someone ever thought of pairing it up with jelly.
And there was salt but it started to taste better when there was pepper.
And what's the point of butter without bread?
Anyway, by myself, I'm nothing special.
But with you, I think I could be. =)

Rocketeer.

When the right time comes, I won't be texting 24/7 again.
My phone will be less ringing.
I won't buy top up as often as before.
Cause I have no body to text to like we did.
No one will ask me to call at night just to listen to my voice.
Each morning, You're the reason I smiled just by receiving good morning text that wakes me up everyday and I never let my day end without wishing you goodnight.
I'm not sure how am I going to go through all these but I'll try my best to get use to it.
I will surely miss to hear my phone rings with that SPECIAL RINGTONE.
But I will miss the person who made me wrote this entry most.
I'm gonna miss you, I will surely do. >.<
Thanks for the happiness that you brought into my life even it was just for awhile.
The memories? I will keep and lock deep inside my heart forever, promise. =)

1995

In March 1995, 3 months before my birthday. I almost died cause I'm having a very hot fever.
Now, when life treats me bad, sometimes this question popped in mind.
"Why didn't I stop breathing at that time?"
Then I won't have to bear any pain.
But now I realize that, there must be a special reason to why I am still breathing until now. And I'm still waiting for that to happen. InsyaAllah. =)

Sedang mengumpul kekuatan . . .

Be strong Ara, Be strong . . =.=

A part of my life . . .

One day, we might forget the people that once came to our lives.
But I know that when that day comes,
I won’t forget you.
Cause you didn’t just come into my life, you became a part of it. =)

=.=

I never intended to be the most important person in your life.
That is just too much to ask.
But I do hope that I’d cross your mind and you’d smile thinking that I touched your life in a special way.

If I were to fall in love again . . .

I would love someone who show me and the world just how much he loves me.
Who knows the tears behind my laughters.
Who knows when to support me from the back and let me fight my battle.
Know when to step in and take the fight for me and defend me in the front line.
Who knows my broken heart and carefully glue them all even when he knows it's gonna be fragile.
Who's not afraid to fight for me and never let me go.
Who's willing to do the best to understand me and do more when the best is not enough..
Cause...
I would do just the same.. =)

Strength . . .

It takes a lot of strength to hold on but sometimes, it takes much more strength to just let go and move on...

Waiting . . .

That mysterious man, the one of my dreams, for which I am forever... Waiting.

When a heart breaks, It don't break even.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing,
Coz when a heart breaks, No it don't break even.
What am I supposed to do when THE BEST PART of me was AlWAYS YOU,
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok.
They say bad things happen for a reason,
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding.

Breakeven-The Script

=.=

Akan kuatkah kaki yang melangkah, bila disapa duri yang menanti,
Akan kaburkah mata yang menatap, pada debu yang pastikan hinggap?

Maybe. . .

Maybe she's right. I'm not the special one... =.=

.Leave.Love.

Sometimes people leave because they love.

Cinta tak semestinya memiliki dan cinta memerlukan pengorbanan. =)

=.=

And this is my life . . .

Liking someone who doesn't like me back. . .

or

Who doesn't like me the way I do. . .

or

Not as much as they like someone else. . .

=.=

Dia?

Siapa dia? Dia adalah seseorang yang saya jumpa masa saya pergi wedding cousin saya. Mula-mula saya tak nampak pun dia langsung. Sebab sibuk layan cousin2 yang dah lama tak jumpa. Sekali masa saya tengah seronok tangkap gambar dekat kereta kuda, datang sekumpulan kawan-kawan nak bergambar dengan kuda handsome tu jugak! Huhu! Time tu macam lawak gila, salah sorang daripada kawan dia menjerit sebab kuda tu macam nak gigit! Haha! Hilang ke-jantan-an! =p Saya terdengar niece saya berkata "Uhhh comelnya laki tu". "I was like yang mana satu?" I rasa dia suka yang kulit cerah tu kot? Kot la! Huhu =p Pastu secara tidak sengaja, mata memang dikurniakan untuk melihat. Kan kan kan~ Lalu saya pun ternampaklah seseorang tu, rupa dia macam erm? Bolehlaaaa~ Haha! =p Tapi buat dek je time tu~ Hee! Pastu ke hulur ke hilir dgn cousin2 saya, kitaorang tangkap la gambar kat tepi tasik. Tiba-tiba Papa datang. He said "Jom naik boat ni" Then kitaorang macam seronoklah sebab sebelum tu memang berangan nak naik dah. Terus cakap nak, tapi nak naik dengan my nieces! He gave me the money and Ara pun pergi lah nak beli lagi 4 tickets more! Masa tengah bayar, Ara dengar suara sekumpulan lelaki, so Ara tgk la siapa yg datang, Boleh la pulok dorang datang kat tempat beli ticket tu! Haaa! I was all alone. Dorang macam 4 orang laki. Malu kot! Haha! Dapat tiket terus nak blah sampai lupa ambil baki! Haha! =p Ara pun mulakan langkah utk melarikan diri dari situ! Heee! Tiba2 Ara dgr ada org panggil Ara "Awak! Tak nak baki ke?" Without knowing siapa pemilik suara tu, patah balik, *buat muka konon tak malu* ambil duit terus blah hihi =p Pakcik tu ckp, dapat tiket tak nak duit? Ahaha~ Hanya mampu tersenyum je masa tu =) Then terus pakai jacket keselamatan. Ara naik with Raihan cause kitaorang macam sekepala. Anna naik dengan Najah~ Mereka cakap mereka sama~ Tak berapa nak matang haha! Harap gelaran je kakak! =p But no matter what, I love them all so much <3 Okay sambung. Then dah naik. Kayuh2. Raihan and I mula berangan~ =p Our conversation masa tu, "Mesti seronok kalau naik dengan boyfriend!!!!" Hahaha! Jealous kot masa tu ada couple, sweet gilaaa kayuh berdua! =p Then the girl letak her head atas bahu the guy and the girl dh mcm nak tertido dah! Heee Sweet killer! Huhu =.= Tengah sibuk berangan, entah datang dari mana dua lelaki, suruh kitaorang ambik gambar dia. Dalam hati masa tu, eh eh tak malunya mereka! Haha! and *Dia* was one of them! Haha! Gedik je nak suruh orang tangkap gambar. Pastu datang pulak geng dia yang lagi dua orang! Haaa lagi banyak la snap gmbr tapi I don't really mind pun cause bukan pakai film kan! Memory card kot! Tak rugi apa pun! Hee! Dorang pun sibuklah suruh tag! Tapi masa tu Ara terfikir, macam mana nak tag dorang sedangkan tiada dalam friend list? Haha! So I replied back, add la Ara dulu! Anna and Najah datang, Anna jerit my name! Ara bla3 tah apa dia bebel, pastu si Dia tu dah start panggil my name haha! Bengong! He called me Farah kot? Ara cakap! Panggil Ara je la! =p Paling tak boleh blah bila kawan dia panggil Ara, Arowana! Memang SEDAP nama tu! Sedap sehingga menjilat jari! Haha! Macam nak kena sekeh je! Hee! Then Mama dah call kata nak balik. Masa pun dh nak tamat so kitaorang kayuh ke tepi balik. Masa nak balik, nak salam my cousin. Tapi dia tengah sibuk bergambar kat pelamin dengan kawan-kawan dia so tangkap la lagi sekali beberapa gambar dorang. Tak henti2 nama Arowana di sebut. Terganggu soul photographer saya! =p Then dah siap tangkap gambar kat situ, cari mak bapak pengantin, nak salam. Dorang pun ada jugak kat area situ. Dah salam2, I said bye2. Ada jugak entah suara siapa ckp bye2 jugakkkk! Haha! Bengong! Kalau tak silap Ara, esoknya online. Dia dan kawannya yang panggil Ara Arowana menjadi orang pertama dan kedua yang add Ara, tak lama lepas tu kawan dorang lagi dua orang tu add! Haaaa semua dah sibuk suruh upload gambar. Ara part upload gmbr yang paling lemah semangat sekali sbb gambar kena resize semua dlu kalau tak berat, nak upload pun susah. Lepas beberapa hari baru la Ara upload. Then, that particular someone yang di namakan *Dia* dalam entri ni, cakap something kat wall fb saya. Tengah borak-borak, tanya dia tengah buat apa, dia ckp tgh skype. Pastu trus tanya Ara ada skype ke tak, disbbkan Ara ada skype so I gave him mine. Since then kisah dongeng kitaorang bermula. Woah kisah dongeng??? Dongeng la sangatkan~ Haha! Kisah apa? Hee! Biarlah rahsia! =)

2011?

Tak mahu berharap lebih untuk tahun baru ini. Satu sahaja kemahuan saya. Tidak mahu kecewa lagi. Biarkanlah senyuman di wajah saya berkekalan. Semoga semuanya dipermudahkan. Amin... =)

Kebahagiaan?

Bila ara boleh bahagia?

I mean, bahagia untuk satu jangka masa yang lama...

Bila???

=.=

Why?

Kenapa kita ditemukan?

Kenapa kau beri harapan kalau kau tak boleh setia?

Kenapa? Kenapa?

Cukuplah dengan kesakitan yang aku pernah rasa dulu...

Semoga ada hikmah disebalik semua ini.

Amin...

=.=

Kenapa perlu begini???

Okay, I LIKE HIM VERY MUCH! I am very sure about that cuma cuma adakah saya sudah jatuh cinta? Ohhh tidakkkkk. Ia tak boleh terjadi. Tidak tidak tidak. Ara, you better stop before it's too late. =.=

Pengakhiran dan Permulaan!

Semesterku yang ketiga sudah berakhir, kini pengembaraan untuk ku dan kembarku bekerja akan bermula! Yang penting, exam dah habis! Huhu! Seramnya sem depan ada Illustration! Uhwaaa!

Symptom Lama Telah Kembali!

I hate it, I hate it so much! =.= *Dilema*

Where's Reese?

Can you spot it?

P/s: Cantiknya building ni. Sangat colourful! Sayang ada sesuatu sesat di dalamnya! Haha! =p